I stumbled across a strange paradox today and it got stuck in my head. I could not stop thinking about it. I didn't want to, but I had to. So I let the thoughts flow and this is where it brought me.
We, as people, nations, humanity, and our interactions too, are based on communication. However, there is many of us who know nothing about it. And there are others who know way more than expected. And also those who know some but not much, and some more and others even a bit more or a bit less. But no matter how much you know, you can always get to the point that you misinterpret, misunderstand or miscommunicate something. It being thoughts, concepts, opinions, facts.
Language, words and its meanings are fragile complex of more than letters. And they way how we present ourselves to the world around us is unique. And we will for sure get to a situation when ourselves, but most importantly others, won't understand our message the way we intended.
Ironically that will not happen when we are trying to hurt someone. When we wish to hit others with our words, they will almost always get it right. But when we are trying to show love and compassion, our words, sentences, paragraphs and long speeches will be misunderstood. There are many ways how to expose those feelings to our beloved ones and ludicrously enough, the more genuine the feelign is, the more misinterpreted it gets.
We can be showing love and support in many different ways and for me it sometimes includes being direct and cruel. And people around me don't get it in most cases...Sadly...
I've learnt from all the amazing humans around me how the perfect communication in my eyes looks like. And I am trying to implement those aspects into my own expression. I would say it's following the positive examples proven on myself. And one which is repeatedly occuring to me are words of support.
I found out, not just in school or work, but also in friendships that when people challenge me, they help me to achieve unimaginable levels of my own skills and performance. Their call upon me to step out of my comfort zone and push further with an immense strenght proved to me how far I can get. And some of them did it untintentionally (those are called covards, they are the ones who want you to fail. The following words are not about them). But the truly valuable individuals did it on purpose. They saw my potential, they saw the bigger picture I couldn't see and they used the most productive means they had at their disposal - they dared me.
At that time, I was cursing them. I did not get why they would be so cruel and unmerciful. Looking back I admire their approach. And I thank them everyday for doing what they did. Because I truly believe that sometimes we need others to show us different perspectives on ourselves. We need others to ask the questions we don't want to ask ourselves. We need to feel a glimpse of mistrust in order to prove (in the end mostly to ourselves) that we are capable of it all. Of way more than what that one person is asking us about. They know we can do it and that is the reason why they are asking us. They want us to discover that hidden flame in our soul, that determination which we might be lacking, that drive we need in order to finally move forward.
Asking those questions and doubting our abilities also arises the theme of our own fears. I have a good friend who knows exactly how to get me to the core of my insecurities. Who can direct my focus towards my biggest fears even though I am trying to avoid them. I also have a friend who have no scruples about enumarating all of the terrifying thoughts in my head. I hate her for that. But I am also so fucking grateful for her. Because giving a certain feeling or thought a name is a first step towards overcoming the fear occuring within me. She functions as a direct voice of consciousness when I don't have the guts to be it myself.
All those people in our life who intentionally help us to reach our full potential are our biggest cheerleaders. They might not appear as them in that particular moment, but support does not always have to look like support. And just because they are asking those ugly questions and they are being thought-provoking it does not mean they want us to be defeated. It is actually the other way around. They are the ones who truly want us to succeed. Out of all the people around us. If they are doing it consciously with the intention to push us forward, we should be grateful for them.
However we often push them away and we silence them.
You can be sure that those are the ones who will always stay by your side. Not just when you're happy and riding high the wave called life. But also when you're at your lowest low. Complaning about how something sucks can be done by everyone. Those who actively search for the way out of that cesspit for you are those who you should be surrounding yourself with.
Tečka. Punto.
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